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Writer's pictureTrish Beauchamp

Learning new dance steps when life’s music has changed its rhythm




Often a backward step precedes the next step forward when dancing a cha cha on the dance floor. Experiencing ‘life’, during a world pandemic, has felt like that.


At first, I resisted learning new steps, required for a different daily dance. But, the music keeps playing — even when the rhythm and tune feel discordant and unfamiliar.


I’ve learned, during this time … dance only requires a willingness to move to the music being played.


I recall the day our Prime Minister announced the decision of home-based lockdown, to stop the spread of COVID-19. I was supportive of the reasoning but initially panicked at the thought of being on my own, with no physical touch from another human, for an uncertain length of time. But, I allowed myself to feel the ache of losing social connection and sit with the pain of what this meant for me, personally.


As psychologist and author R,D. Laing says, “Pain in this life is not avoidable, but the pain we create avoiding pain is avoidable.”


Yes, being socially isolated feels uncomfortable but online video calling is a wonderful tool for connection. And separation from neighbours was the required physical distancing, only.

I still walk daily with a close neighbour and friend.


I’ve learned, during this time … social isolating does not require social isolation.


“Good pain is pain that ends pain or increases pleasure” Dr Henry Cloud.


Good pain is often the prerequisite to a pleasurable result. Think: childbirth, fitness goals, achieving career qualifications, resolving relationship conflicts, learning to ride a bike.


I still savour that first hug I had with my daughter, after five weeks of experiencing the loss and pain of physical human touch. The pleasurable result, at that moment, was precious and memorable.


I’ve learned, during this time … delayed gratification heightens the joy of experiencing the pleasurable result.


Recently, I posed the following question to my Facebook community, “When this lockdown concludes what will be a resulting pleasure for you to look forward to?”


My answer is, “ Dancing with others, again.” 


Living … it’s an adventure of a lifetime.


Trish


https://www.facebook.com/lifecoachingwithTrish


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