When the silence is too loud

We may feel prepared for significant endings in our lives… until we are confronted with the silence. An empty silence that loudly echoes, “You’ve become irrelevant as a parent, a partner, or a person to rely on.” “What do you have to offer the world without the roles that have defined who you are?” “Your life has become meaningless.” 

However, the source of these echoing voices is the thinking you allow about the ending. I know, because there was a time I had those thoughts about myself.

Navigating the journey of change and endings can be tumultuous and isolating.

Everyone experiences endings that create change: adult children leaving home, long-term relationships dissolving, transitioning to retirement, relocating away from family, or adjusting to the loss of loved ones.​ These experiences all have elements of grief, triggering both negative and positive feelings as we journey from the familiar to the unknown. Recognising the mixed emotions we experience with change allows us to understand them better.

When the silence feels too loud:

1) Recognise what you are grieving and acknowledge the emotions you are feeling

2) Notice the thoughts you are having and seek help if the thoughts are constantly echoing negativity about yourself. 3) When an ending has resulted in solo living and silence is creating loneliness, start to explore opportunities in the community. 4) If retirement has not been as fulfilling as you hoped, volunteer your time in an area of contribution that connects with your personality. 5) Have you always wanted to learn another language, a musical instrument, a dance genre, or a sports activity? Now could be your time.

Endings are transitions that shift the focus of our lives, whether we welcome change or not.

Endings may leave us feeling unanchored and disoriented, or we can become observant and open to new opportunities. Acceptance of the ending may never come (don’t push for it), but acknowledging that change is part of life’s journey allows the process of moving forward to begin. The silence is filled with new sounds and rhythms, no longer echoing hopelessness.

"What we call the beginning is often the end. And to make an end is to make a beginning. The end is where we start from."  T.S. Eliot

Trish