The essence of gift-giving

Have you unwrapped a gift and thought, “This person really knows me.”

Alternatively, have you received a gift from someone and wondered, “What were they thinking?” 

The essence of gift-giving is thoughtful choices and the acknowledgement of the recipient's personality and interests. The true value of a gift is expressed with thought and intention, not the price tag.

Choosing appropriate gifts reflects how well you know a person. Your choice of gifts can also reflect an unhealthy motivation, such as giving to impress, seeking approval, or competing with another person’s gift-giving. Becoming aware of these negatives allows us to reconsider what we want our gift-giving to reflect.

Can we ensure our gift-giving expresses meaningful expressions of love and understanding of what a person likes?

Gary Chapman, author of “The 5 Love Languages”, identified fundamental personality traits that influence how people give and receive love. They are: words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.

Knowing someone’s primary love language can help with choosing meaningful gifts. For example, a family experience gift voucher is a great idea for someone who values quality time with loved ones. A voucher would not be the best choice for someone whose love language is gifts (unless they specifically request it). A thoughtfully chosen card will be placed in the ‘treasures box’ of someone whose love gift is words of affirmation. Homemade coupon books for hugs and massages are well received by those who love physical touch, and vouchers offering practical help of some kind to someone who values acts of service.

Low cost with high appreciation is achieved.

Research shows that both giving and receiving gifts activate the parts of our brain associated with reward and pleasure, stimulating the neurotransmitter dopamine - our ‘feel good’ hormone. When we know our gifts are well received, we experience what's referred to in psychological circles as a 'vicarious reward'. It is the positive feeling a giver has when they see the joy their gift brings to the recipient.

The essence of gift-giving to yourself is also important. With the demands and busyness of the Christmas season, we can sometimes forgo self-care to the detriment of our life-wellness.

Always take time to honour your own love language and be okay with asking for what you would like to receive from others.

Trish,